Blunders: Of tiger riders and dumb asses



Oops

OK, so here’s the scoop: Raju did not write the letter. There is no cash crunch situation at Satyam. The letter was a hoax! [Note: If you are wondering about the context, go read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satyam_scandal]

Don’t believe me? Prove me wrong. I bet you can’t. Not when even a reputed firm like PWC can ascertain whether the statements in the letter are true. Not when none of the Satyam top honchos, nor the independent directors can tell you the exact cash situation. And definitely not when the one man who can verify the truth, the one man who seems to have fooled the world all by himself has gone missing. (By the way, is someone searching for him?)

Do I sound naïve? Well, that puts me on par with one of the world’s top class accounting firms, and a whole set of other esteemed individuals.

Don’t you find the whole situation ridiculous, and rather amusing? One man could manipulate a top IT company’s balance sheet all by himself. And the whole world responds so frantically to a letter – which, by the way, I have not read anywhere is authentic.

The world surely has got nuttier. (that reminds me – keep a watch on those ground nut wrappers you get from street vendors. Those may well be some Satyam share certificates. You don’t want to be caught dead with one of those.)

If this isn’t proof enough, let me remind you of another scene from last year: [Note: If you haven’t heard about this, go read http://www.dawn.com/news/852798/jailed-militant-s-hoax-calls-drove-india-pakistan-to-brink-of-war and http://news.mobile.in.msn.com/en-in/national/articles.aspx?aid=3453212&afid=-1]

November, 2008
Location: President’s office, Pakistan.
The President: Hello.
Hoax Caller: Dude, This is Pranab here. Minister of External affairs for India, by the way.
The President: @#$%^ (*1 See note below). OK, so what?
Hoax Caller: Dai, how dare you? Enna rascala. Mind it. Or else! (*2 See note below)
<Hangs up the phone>
The President, shouting to his people: The Indians are attacking! Mobilize all forces! You, there – the one with a frozen face – foreign affairs: Go announce to the world that the Indians are attacking. And yeah, keep that look on your face

What happened after is common knowledge.
Now, another one from the technology world:

New Years eve,2008
Location: Microsoft Zune development center
Project Manager: Macha (*3 See note below), Are you done with your coding? It’s almost midnight, and I don’t want to miss the countdown.
Developer: mm… errrr… mmmm… I think it is done. Not sure though. Someone has to test it.
Project Manager (Taps a few keys): Looks good. Here, Testing done. Uplink it and lets go home!
Again, all of us know what happened after – Zune froze. (for more on this, check this link: http://www.inquisitr.com/14033/zune-freeze-leap-year-microsoft/)

Could you even imagine such things could happen? Well, they are. So the next time you curse yourself for a small blunder you did – stop. Take it easy. Big companies, big people and countries are doing bigger blunders. So don’t be hard on yourself :).

Notes:
*1: For the clueless ones, the translation: Special greetings exchanged between Indian and Pakistani nationals when they meet.
*2: Statement slightly altered to articulate the essence of his statement in a form that could be easily understood by the Indian Juntha.
*3: Microsoft has a large number of Indian employees. So, I may be right here in assuming that the bug-gers were Indians. But we are good at fixing date bugs (remember Y2K?) – so I may be wrong.

4 Comments

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  1. 1
    Susan Kishner

    I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.

  2. 2
    Rashmi

    First question when I heard the news on CNBC was… where’s the letter? who authenticated that it came from him…
    Next wonder was are the guys at the top really that dumb that such huge number mismatches over the years cannot be noticed at all???

  3. 3
    vijetha

    A very interesting and hilarious take on the whole Satyam “scam” :).
    These days when both electronic and print media are reporting their views more than actual news, wish there was some way the aam junta could get access to facts .

  4. 4
    Rekha

    how can a CEO tamper with such huge figures and be unnoticed for all these yrs ? what are the audit firms for then ? everything is profoundly confusing ? top notches such things – for WHAT !! and i dbt if all these agencies,govt will actually come out with the TRUTH 🙂 lets wait

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