Indians – the worst tourists? Bah!

Indians – the worst tourists? Bah!



What?! We Indians are among the top in ‘most disliked tourists’ list? How did that happen? French or Brits being on top, I can understand. For centuries now, they have been bad tourists (ask the natives, they’ll tell you). But us – peace loving, everyday bathing, most productive people – disliked? We never went anywhere colonizing regions. We always have minded our own business. And now, when we just got traveling, you guys put us right on top of the most disliked tourists list? Sacrilege! You stoopid peoples of the world, you are being narrow minded I say. You don’t understand our culture and hence don’t understand why we behave the way we behave.
You say, we are unruly and we never queue up. But then I bet you haven’t understood the concept of ‘Survival of the fittest’ either. This has been nature’s way all along. You better fall in line with this concept, or prepare to end up as losers. And to be fair to us, we do not discriminate either. Especially while non-queuing. We never discriminate against old people, women or kids while trampling over a crowd to get anywhere first.
Oh, I see. You cite such silly reasons to dislike us. Sheesh!
Ok, so we are in a rush most of the times. Especially during landing of an airplane. Once the plane touches down, we are on terra firma. It’s no longer a plane – it’s more like a car cruising in a residential area at 20 mph. We like to get our stuff, rush to the entrance and get going. If you guys are dumb enough to sit there and wait till the plane gets to a standstill, don’t blame us!
And yeah, we don’t refuse anything free. It’s stupidity not to keep waving down the stewardess for more free alcohol on board an aircraft. The airline guys are fleecing us anyways, so this is the only way you can get back at them. In fact, we gather anything free and distribute them to our family and friends later – the wet wipes sachet from airplanes, the little shampoo bottles from hotels. That’s how large-hearted we are. You probably mistook that for greed? Understandable.
We are the most social creatures around. So you probably will see us traveling in large groups, with kids in various age groups. Kids are fun aren’t they? You must understand that kids are designed to cry out loud, run around, scream and create a ruckus. And because the 20 of us have to seat ourselves spread out in a restaurant or someplace, we got to shout out to each other to communicate. It’s basic common sense. Don’t mistake these for being unruly!
Ok, agreed that we are a bit behind on fashion, and you may not find us very elegant. Most of us guys wear a checkered or flowery Bermuda shorts and a tight tee that barely covers our belly bulge while on vacation – we don’t make for a very handsome sight. But you should be thankful that we don’t go around shirtless like some other tourists we all know.
And you know what – when the tour guide says ‘let’s assemble here tomorrow morning at sharp 9 AM’, what he/she means is ‘I’ll see you here some time between 9 and 11’. So we usually land up at 10. Come on, It’s a vacation guys. It’s not like you have to punch a clock or something.
Oh, we are stingy people, you say? Well, here’s news for you: those retailers are making suckers out of you by selling items at 2-3 times their actual prices. They expect you to bargain. It’s not that we are stingy. We just value our money, and don’t like walking around with an ‘L’ on our foreheads. If you consider bargaining below your dignity, get ready to be laughed at behind your backs. Same goes with tipping. It’s the job of those waiters to take orders and transport food from the kitchen to the tables. How hard could that be? Why should we pay them anything extra to just do their job? Do you get tipped in office for doing your job? All I get for even working overtime is a pack of Tiger biscuits. Rather than complaining about our tipping habits, we should work together to put an end to this ludicrous concept.
Yeah, we don’t experiment with food. We cover our nose when confronted with stinky bean curd, frown when we see wriggly creatures being sushi-ed, puke at the smell of food made from giant animals. We don’t do these to hurt you – it’s just that when faced with strange food, our body activates certain muscles on our face and hands. It’s beyond our control. And by the way, we like food to be spicy. Even our cows would refuse to eat boiled, bland broccoli. So it’s a culture thing, you see.

As you see, I can’t spot one reason why we could be disliked. If anyone of you could throw some light on why Indians are disliked as tourists, it would be an education to all Indians. Personally, I think it is all a big misunderstanding.

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